Writing Voice

In which I learn I am a very habit-forming creature.

Although, to be fair, this isn’t 100% new information.

But it’s something that struck me today, as I was dictation a scene for my palate-cleanser novel idea.

Couple of things: when I say “palate-cleanser”, what I actually mean is “I do not think my agent would be best pleased if I presented her with this book, but I am having fun while I regain enthusiasm for some of my other projects.”

And that matters, because the reason this thought struck me today was that today was the first day dictating for this idea felt… less fun than usual.

I mentioned in a previous post that one of the reasons I want to learn to dictate is that it might help me write quicker, which means when I have these “flash in the pan” moments of inspiration, I can get them on paper quicker, and hopefully therefore I’ll be more likely to write a full draft… quicker. Even if the editing takes just a long as usual, this would still be a great development for me.

So the fact that today’s scene felt like pulling teeth had the potential to undermine this whole exercise. It felt a bit like… oh no, am I having exactly the same problem now that I always do? Maybe it’s not typing into Word that’s the problem, maybe it’s… me?!

But then I thought, nah. Can’t possibly be me.

So the problem has to be… typing into Word.

Or dictating into Word. Whatever. The problem is with Word. Not me.

To be clear, I’m not about to jump ship to Google Docs, or Scrivener, or any other word processor — because that wouldn’t fix this particular problem. Also, I really like Word.

No, the problem is that when I’m putting text into a Word document, it feels all so very… formal. And when I’m scrabbling together disparate scene for a first draft, I don’t want it to feel formal. I want it to feel… scrabbly. Scrappy.

I remember being at university — I had a job in the local Spar shop, and if I had an idea for a short story or a novel I’d reel off a bit of blank receipt paper from the machine and scribble it onto that. I kept those receipt paper notes sort of haphazardly in a drawer in my room, and some of them I kept with me for a good ten years after I graduated.

My point is, I suppose, I’m not a very formal writer. I think that’s why I’m a bit suspicious about structures — I can see why they matter, but if I need to stick rigidly to one format I’ll feel the need to rebel.

Now, up until today, dictation has been going really well for me. After today, I have a suspicion that’s because I’ve been dictating into my Notes app. What’s scrappier than a bloody iPhone Notes app?? It’s basically a meme at this point that all women and some men keep their darkest secrets in there. I definitely do too; my novel ideas are all my darkest secrets, after all.

So, for the next week I’m going back to Notes. It’s a shame, because if I could get comfortable with dictating straight into Word it would absolutely cut out all the transferring from one device to another nonsense I’ve been doing. But, the heart wants what the heart wants, and it transpires my heart wants me to write this novel like I think I’m Patricia Lockwood or something.